Mission to Kill - a Brainscratch Fanfiction
by sombreromoustache
Summary: Six soldiers are assigned in the time of chaos to assassinate Shadow the Hedgehog
1. Chapter 1

"Sir! We've also spotted a black hedgehog with the black aliens!" a soldier reported to the G.U.N. Commander.

He treated the situation professionally at first but hearing the words 'black hedgehog' set off a spark inside him, "Shadow?" he asked quietly before his anger filled his mind, "DEPLOY THE TROOPS NOW! And if you find Shadow with the Black Aliens, then kill them all!"

The soldier hesitated, "But sir, isn't Shadow on our side?"

"I gave you an order soldier! He's evil and he's the enemy!" the soldier immediately ran away from his commanding officer, "You can't run anymore, this time. You're mine," the Commander grimaced before pressing a PA button, "Bring Lieutenant Malis to me!"

Five minutes later an officer in uniform saluted the general, "Commander!"

"Adhese, lieutenant. Tell me, what are your skills? Why are you a lieutenant?" the Commander asked.

Ryan Malis raised his eyebrows, "I was promoted to lieutenant after displaying excellent leadership abilities and skill in marksmanship."

"You and your squad were instrumental in storming Eggman's base during the incident with the Ark," the Commander filled a cup of tea and sipped it, "I have a special mission for you."

"I'm glad to accept it, sir," Ryan saluted him.

"After I order you, you won't be happy with it for long," the Commander put his tea cup down, "I'm ordering you and your squadron to assassinate Shadow the Hedgehog."

* * *

"Wait! Repeat that to me again!"

"Fine, I'll repeat it. The Commander wants me to form my squadron to assassinate Shadow the Hedgehog," Ryan repeated sarcastically.

"Ok, two questions. One. Why are we going after Shadow when we have no proof if he's with the Black Aliens. Two, why aren't we helping fight the Black Aliens?!" a Puerto Rican with a mustache-goatee combo and a baseball cap asked.

"Apparently we were instrumental in invading Eggman's base," Ryan answered.

"Weren't we shot down at least five times by Eggman?" a man with hair over his left eye asked.

"Yes, but we blew open the door and I was promoted. And now we have to kill Shadow the Hedgehog," Ryan explained, "Anyways, I need a squad and you guys are the first I'm turning to."

"Well great! Just fucking great! Taking me on a mission to kill Shadow the fucking Hedgehog! What could possibly go wrong?!" Johnny exasperated.

"The plot of Spec Ops the Line!" Ryan turned when he heard a British voice, "What's this I hear about killing Shadow?"

"Hi, Gareth, how are you doing this invasion?" Lewis asked.

"Woke up and my apartment had an alien in it. Then I looked outside and aliens were falling from red clouds," Gareth sat in the lounge next to Lewis.

"Yeah I didn't get no weather report about falling aliens,"

"Hi, Amanda, what brings you here?" Ryan asked.

"Heard something about you being needed to kill Shadow and I thought, "Maybe I could help him out like I helped you guys at Eggman's base,"

Ryan shrugged, "Well I was going to ask you guys to join my squad anyway, so the more the merrier!"

The group of five stared at each other awkwardly, "This feels weird. We need a sixth person.," Lewis demanded.

"What about, Clement?" Amanda brought up one of their old war buddies.

"Nah, he was transferred to fight some guy called Willy," Ryan answered, "Johnny, what about your brother or Matt?"

"They're busy," Johnny said, "Besides, Elliot 'kept falling into holes in training camp!"

"Guys, guys, the next guy we see, we're bringing along with us for this mission," Gareth suggested.

A few moments later, and a tall young man with long black hair wearing a janitor's uniform walked by, sweeping the floor.

Gareth shook his head, "Ok, the next guy that comes along."

Ryan ignored the Brit, "You! Do you know how to fire a rifle?!" Ryan asked.

The young man jumped back in surprise, "Um. Yeah?"

"Then suit up! You're coming on a mission with us to assassinate Shadow the fucking Hedgehog!"

"What?"

"He gave you an order soldier! Suit up!" Gareth yelled at him.

"But I'm just a janitor-

The janitor was dragged away by Johnny and Lewis to suit him up, "It's alright! You'll serve your country proud!" Gareth yelled at them before nudging Amanda, "That kid's gonna die in three minutes."

* * *

The young man named Ted was suited up in uniform and brought back to Ryan, "But I'm just a janitor! I'm not qualified to be a soldier!"

"It's alright, Ted. I worked in the cafeteria when Ryan brought me along to Eggman's base," Amanda consoled him.

"Alright, men. Allow me to debrief all of you. Our target is Shadow the Hedgehog, and our mission is to assassinate him!" Ryan held back his laughter, "Johnny! You're older than me and you have more experience. Can I count on you as my second-in-command?"

"You count on me, you son of a bitch," Johnny saluted him.

"Lewis. You're one of my best friends, we grew up together and we were trained together. Can I count on you as my weapons expert?"

Lewis nodded, "Sure. Why not?"

Ryan walked to the bearded Brit, "Gareth. After your transfer from England to America, you've been a great addition to G.U.N. and a great friend. Can I count on you as my guerilla warfare expert?"

"Why the hell not?" Gareth loaded his pistol.

"Amanda. Can I count on you to keep your eye on us?" Ryan asked, handing her a sniper rifle.

"Uh, sure," she smiled.

"And Ted-

"Can we count on you to die?" Gareth interrupted Ryan.

"WHAT!" Ted got on his knees, "Please, I have a wife and kids!"

"No you don't. And even if you did, I'm still bringing you with me," Ryan declared, "Now men! Let's lock and load and get onto killing Shadow the fucking Hedgehog!"

* * *

**A/N New Brainscratch series! Only Parasite X12 will probably read this. So how are you Parasite? You doing good? What did you think of the story?**


	2. Chapter 2

"I have a question," the Brit asked, "What's firing those lasers, and why do they have such terrible aim?"

"Weatherman didn't tell me about no lasers in the sky," Amanda complained while looking through her scope.

"Amanda you made that joke already-

"Johnny shush! I've got Shadow in my sights," she aimed her rifle at the black blur."

"Ok, Amanda. Now I want you to do something important," Gareth whispered in her ear, "Take, the shot."

"What?"

"DO YOU NEED ME TO ANNUNCIATE?!" Gareth demanded.

"Yeah I kinda need you to!"

"Take the shot," he whispered quietly before he started shouting, "TAKE THE SHOT!"

"OK!" Amanda fired her sniper rifle, missing Shadow by five feet.

"DOH YOU MISSED!" Ryan mocked the part-time artist.

Ted, using his binoculars followed Shadow running through Westopolis, "So how are we gonna shoot him down?"

"We shoot him with our guns," Lewis replied.

"Or if we're real men, we punch him," Ryan bragged.

"Who would use their fists when we have guns?" Johnny demanded.

"Uh, Shadow. I'm watching him right now and he's punching an alien. And he's kicking it," Ted explained what he was watching Shadow doing.

"Why would he want to punch anything when he can just use the homing attack?" Lewis asked.

"He wanted to bring out his inner Chris Redfield," Ryan explained, "Now men, let's go and shoot a hedgehog."

Ted looked up at the sky as lasers shot down at the ground, failing completely to hit Shadow, "Why is the moon there?"

"What? What are you talking about?" Lewis asked before looking up and being blinded, "Oh god that moon is fucking huge!"

"Yeah but why is it there? Wasn't it destroyed during the Eggman Incident two years ago?" Ted asked.

"The side of the moon that we can't see, I think that's what the reports said," Ryan answered, "And that's your biggest question about this whole thing?" Ryan pulled a seatbelt as he turned the ignition to their Humvee.

"Well you can't blame him, the moon is twelve hundred times its normal size," Lewis remarked.

"Ok, I just saw Shadow grabbing a Chaos Emerald after he killed a Black Alien. Is he on our side now?" Johnny asked looking through a pair of binoculars.

"No. We gotta go kill him, put a bullet through his brain," Gareth sang.

"If he even has a brain," Amanda remarked quietly, resulting in a short laugh from everyone.

The ride following after the Black Blur was quiet with Lewis tinkering with the group's firearms, "Ryan, what kinda gun are you using, I don't see it back here," he asked his lieutenant.

"Colt 45," he answered.

"Really? You're gonna pack a gun with six shots, against a supersonic hedgehog?" Johnny questioned him.

"Well best case scenario is, we don't get anywhere near him. And I like the power behind a revolver," Ryan explained.

"Personally I like the kick of a shotgun, though it makes my arm sore after a while," Lewis admitted.

"I'm gonna admit I like explosions, so call me the British Michael Bay," Gareth winked at the camera, "So I like using grenades and stuff, but if I'm gonna shoot a gun it's probably gonna be a Glock, so I'm with Ryan, I like pistols, fuck the rest of you."

"But wait, aren't you a guerilla warfare expert?" Ted asked innocently.

"Yes, I fire a rocket launcher at you, run away, and then I come back and fire another grenade," Gareth explained guerilla warfare.

"So newbie Ted, what kinda guns you like?" Ryan asked.

"Uhhhhh, rifles?" Ted had no idea what he was doing, "I'd like to remind everyone that I was dragged here against my will!"

"To be fair, Ted you did sign a contract that you would take up arms in the call of duty," Ryan drove through the remains of Westopolis, "So we have every right to drag you wherever we go."

"Oh, but I wanted to go home and play Paper Mario the Thousand Year Door," Ted complained.

"And I didn't want to kill Shadow the Fucking Hedgehog. Wait," Johnny removed his cap and rubbed his head, "Yeah I did."

Amanda loaded her rifle, "Ok, Ryan. Park the car so I can shoot this fucker."

"Erm, what?" Ryan said in disbelief at what he was hearing.

"STOP THE CAR!" Amanda shouted and Ryan slammed the breaks, everyone except Amanda going forward.

She opened the hatch and aimed her rifle at the Hedgehog. She squinted at Shadow who was homing attack chaining several G.U.N. bots. After the third one, Shadow was spinning in the air. To to others this seemed to last a few seconds, but to a sniper this was hours.

Amanda released her breath and fired a round at the Black Blur. The shot missed him, but he noticed their team and fired an energy blast at them.

"RUN AWAY!" Ryan, Johnny, and Gareth shouted in unison.

Ryan put the Humvee in drive and stomped on the gas pedal. He drove over radioactive plants and Black Aliens, "YEAH! FUCK YOU LEVEL!" Johnny shouted in excitement.

The Humvee drove over a ledge that Shadow had been able to easily cross by parkour. Instead, they were hardcore and drove over the ledge making it across. There in front of them, was Shadow the Hedgehog. Holding a gun.

"Guys, be very quiet. We're hunting wedgehogs," Gareth put up his best Elmer Fudd impersonation.

Quietly Ryan did the Elmer Fudd laugh while his team stepped out of their Humvee and aimed their guns at Shadow. Lewis let out a soft breath before drawing his aim at the Black Blur.

Shadow glanced back at the group, "Puny humans."

"Is he going to kill us?" Ted asked as he was hiding in the car with Amanda.

"God I hope not," she was not helping Ted.

Shadow's fur began glowing blue, "Chaos, CONTROL!"

"FIRE!" Ryan ordered as his squadron unloaded their rounds on Shadow before he took off through the streets, "BACK INTO THE BOAT!"

"Boat?! What boat?!" Johnny shot a question at his superior.

Ryan closed the door and buckled up, "No time to explain!" he put the car in drive and drove across the speed panel, launching the squadron across the streets.

Ted held onto the back of Johnny's chair, screaming not because of his death but realizing he didn't save in Paper Mario the Thousand Year Door. Lewis and Johnny held onto each other as Ryan laughed like a madman. Amanda had not noticed they were in the air, and Gareth meanwhile was singing Free Falling by Tom Petty.

The Humvee landed on the ground and revved across the streets. Ryan smiled at his squadron, making them realize he had trolled the hell out of them.

"So... are we gonna call this thing Boat?" Johnny asked.

"Yes. Our vehicle will be Boat. And we will ride into battle on it!" Ryan laughed as he plowed through the destruction of Westopolis, running over black aliens.

"Um, lieutenant, you alright?" Ted asked.

"Oh god, I know that look," Lewis leaned against the chair, "It's the same look he got when we blew open the door to Eggman's."

"Hold onto your seat, Ted. Because things are about to get bumpy," Johnny covered his face with his cap.

"Wait what's going on?" Ted asked.

"Yeah I'm with the new guy, what exactly is going on?" Gareth asked, rubbing his forehead underneath his beanie.

"ANARCHY!" Ryan shouted and fired his gun in the air in celebration, turning on Guile's theme on their radio, "Ladies and gentlemen, screw bullets! We have boat!"

Ryan drove towards Shadow the Hedgehog as an alien was about to pimp slap him. Before Ryan and his squadron were able to run over their targets, the alien teleported them away in a flash of light.


	3. Chapter 3

Johnny emerged from the sand and spat out some dirt, "Goddamn! Where the hell are we?"

"BOAT! YOU LIVE AGAIN!" Johnny looked up at his lieutenant hugging Boat.

"Ryan, what are you doing?"

"BOAT!" Ryan yelled.

Gareth tossed sand from his beanie off a cliff, "This is why the UK is better than America. There's no fucking sand there."

"Don't you guys have beaches?" Ted wiped sand from his eyes.

"There's no fucking sand there," Gareth repeated to himself.

Lewis sat on Boat's hood and cleaned off his shotgun, "You know what's weird? Before we were teleported here, Shadow said he wasn't going to follow that alien dude's orders. But he was holding the Chaos Emeralds anyway! What?!"

"How did you know about that alien's orders?" Johnny asked.

Lewis popped open the shotgun's magazine and poured out the sand, "Psychic powers."

Gareth, Ted, and Johnny shot Lewis a questioning glance, "Hah, just kidding. No, I just made a quick guess."

The radio in Boat went off, "Lieutenant Malis! Respond!"

"This is Private Amanda reporting," Amanda groaned into the radio.

"Amanda?! Why did they bring, Amanda?!" Ryan grabbed the radio mike and spoke to the Commander.

"Hi, it's Lieutenant Ryan,"

"Lieutenant? Where are you? Where's Shadow?"

"We're in the middle of a bunch of ruins sir. They're all pretty ancient," Ryan reported.

"And as of this moment, Shadow is running with an idiot," Lewis called out.

"We've spotted Shadow, sir. We're preparing to engage," Ryan reported again.

"Excellent. Engage and destroy! We'll be sending troops to take care of the Black Aliens and to support your mission!"

"Much obliged. Malis out," Ryan turned to his squadron, "Gentlemen, and Ted."

"Hey!"

"Let's go kill Shadow the Fucking Hedgehog!"

"FUCK YEAH!" Johnny was the only one among them to cheer, "I mean, fuck yeah," the awkwardness was getting to him, "Let's get in the boat."

Ryan turned the ignition to Boat and let his squadron inside before flooring it, following Shadow from the other side of the chasm.

"Anyone have a visual on Shadow?" Lewis asked.

Amanda looked from the hatch through a pair of binoculars, "He's running with Knuckles."

"Knuckles? The echidna?" Johnny asked.

Amanda looked harder through the binoculars, "I don't think an echidna looks like that."

"So do we kill just Shadow or do we kill whoever's with him also?" Ted asked.

"WHOA! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Whoa," Gareth interrupted everyone, "Ted are you implying you want Knuckles to die?"

"What?! No I don't-

"Ted, just say the word and I will end the mammal's life," Gareth promised the Bostonian.

"But-

"But was the word!" Gareth pulled a rocket launched and rolled down the window, aiming at Shadow and Knuckles, "Unlike Sonic I don't chuckle."

"Gareth. There are so many things wrong with that idea," Lewis reprimanded the Brit.

"Too late!" Gareth fired the rocket at Shadow.

"LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!" Knuckles yelled toward his semi-friend.

"What is it?" Shadow stopped to ask.

The rocket exploded ten meters from him, earning Knuckles a glare from Shadow, "See when you look behind you, you avoided the explosion."

"DAMN YOU, KNUCKLES! THIS IS WHY TED WANTS YOU TO DIE!" the duo stared at the Humvee with the screaming Brit.

"Dammit, Gareth! You blew our cover," Ted complained.

A thunderbolt that flashed past Boat instigated a comment from Ryan, "And there's our cover back."

"Why is there a storm here?" Johnny asked.

"I think the more important question is why Shadow would run into a tornado," Lewis stated.

"No it looks like he and Knuckles are running around the tornado," Amanda noted, "Why?"

"Amanda has a good question. Why? Why are we, four military trained with fuck all to do, a former cafeteria worker, and a janitor stalking a supersonic black hedgehog, with guns?" Gareth asked this question.

"Thank you, Gareth,"Johnny praised him.

"Hey, I'm just following orders," Ryan defended himself.

"But you didn't have to bring us! You could have done this yourself!" Ted argued with the curly-haired lieutenant.

"I'm boring by myself," again, Ryan defended himself.

"But the point is. Why are we going after Shadow the fucking hedgehog!? Why aren't we going after the aliens. Matter of fact, I'll support my stance right now!" Johnny loaded his rifle and brought himself out of Boat's window, "EAT LEAD!"

He fired his rifle at the Black Aliens, killing several of them. The ones who did not die stared at the angry nerd, pondering to themselves what kind of planet they were invading.

"Should we bring him back in?" Ted pondered.

"Let the man blow off some steam," Lewis handed his friend more ammunition, "It's better he shoots them than rant at us."

"John. You might want to get back in," Ryan suggested.

"Huh? Why's that?" Johnny asked while pulling himself back into Boat.

Ryan's eyes followed Shadow and Knuckles, "They're running towards a tornado."

"And we're-

"Yep."

"Fuck," Johnny sat back, "Go boat go!"

Ryan floored the accelerator, running Boat off the cliff into the tornado's center.

"I'M PRETTY SURE THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!" Ted yelled holding onto his seat.

"Hey at least we don't end up like those assholes from Twister," Lewis remarked, not letting the tornado bother him.

At the end of the day, being a part of Malis' squadron would always bring weird shit to Lewis' plate. Accepting that, and his paycheck would come through the mail faster.

Gareth meanwhile was singing the tornado theme from Wizard of Oz, solely to freak Ted out.

Before long Boat emerged from the tornado, far away from both Shadow and the ground.

"You know we may die, but at least we get to die looking at a Chaos Emerald," Gareth proposed.

"Hey you're right," Lewis laughed awkwardly, "It was good getting to know you, Ted."

As Boat descended to Mobius to create a bloody crater, Shadow the Hedgehog, using Chaos Control grabbed the Emerald, teleporting him from the ruins, taking the falling Boat with him.

"We're being teleported again?!" Johnny's voice echoed.


End file.
